Monday, July 30, 2007

twiddling my thumbs

I don't really have anything interesting to say but I wanted to post something because I had been away for a while and well, as the title implies, I'm a bit bored. Actually, more than a bit. Funny how as a child I eagerly awaited the summer months, but now as an adult I find them horribly dull. It may have something to do with the fact that for an entire month I can't do my main job functions, because I have no budget to order with and there is an embargo on catalog maintenance, and because my hours have increased each day because we close two hours earlier on Fridays. Nine hours of work each day when you barely have enough stuff to do to fill up half of that is a tedious thing.

But it isn't just work doldrums. I seem to be suffering from a general state of malaise, a dissatisfaction with myself and others that permeates everything. I'm bored, but there is very little I feel like doing. I'm sad, but not in a debilitating sense (thank the gods), easily annoyed but not angry really. Just blah. And as we have previously established "blah" is not my normal state. What is that word people use? Ah, yes, intense. But all intensity seems to have ebbed out of me over my week long journey to the beach, where funnily enough I only got to spend about two hours at the actual beach. Sigh. So I wait, moving through my life without any verve, doing what I am supposed to do and wondering "is this really all there is?"

1 comment:

Mockingbird said...

In times like these, I find comfort in taking such actions as seeking out a perfect, homey roadside stand. You know, the kind set up with a pickup truck tailgate and a tarp covering cardboard boxes of home-grown vegetables. There's usually a small electric fan set up to waft the warm summer air over the wizened face of the proprietor. Once you have found such a place, take your time and sort through the produce to find one absolutely perfect, sun-ripened tomato. Once you have captured this prize, smile with triumph. Caress the tomato in your hands then, with great force, fling it right smack into that fan.

Trust me, you won't be bored anymore!