What's up random?

I have caught a lot of flack for being a slack blogger, and I will admit that going 13 days without a new post is a bit lax. However, in my defense, July is a terribly boring month and not much of interest has happened. I didn't want to blog about trifling stuff, but none of my other ideas ever came together for a blog of any length. So here is a collection of randomness to amuse and entertain.

Rodgers and Hammerstein were full of it. They are the composers of that ridiculous song "I adore being a girl," used in their musical Flower Drum Song and lately in commercials for some hair dye being hawked by Sarah Jessica Parker. There is very little that is fun about being a girl, certainly nothing that would make me burst into song. Ask any woman who has just had her annual or a mammogram if she adores being a girl. The answer will be a resounding "no."

Summer is really not fun after you've hit puberty. Especially if you are a girl! (Notice a theme here?)

Fireworks are lots of fun, but very scary if they malfunction and explode in the parking lot instead of up in the air. Not that I would know from personal experience or anything. I'm just saying.

There is a terrible amount of ambivalence that you experience when the final installment of a series looms on the publication horizon. On the plus side, we finally get to learn how it ends! On the down side, it ends. Fade to black. Roll credits.

You know your dog is spoiled when you keep a jug of treated water in the fridge for him. Granted it is to combat his fish breath, and it has worked very well, but still, it does make him seem coddled.

Nothing says summer the way the scent of a charcoal grill does. Not up close and personal, but that distant smell on the breeze.

To paraphrase Ben Franklin: ice cream is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. Which reminds me, if the busybodies of this world pass the fat tax I am moving to England.

I really don't like the way my voice sounds on tape. I think I sound exceedingly girly and rather high pitched on tape, neither of which I view as a good quality. The worst thing is that when I mention this to others they say "but that's how you sound." Makes me not want to talk at all. But then someone says something particularly dumb and I can't resist making some snarky comment.

Browsing in a bookstore, a good bookstore mind you, gives me a disproportionate amount of pleasure. I frequently succumb to temptations within those walls that make my creditors and retailers rub their hands in glee. However, I do resist the urge to merely walk up and down the aisles running my hands across the shiny new books, as well as the urge to pick up a book and stake a claim in one of the big arm chairs. Yes it is tempting, but the Barnes & Noble is not my living room, and thus I shouldn't treat it that way. Others should heed my advice and not do this either.

From the Shelves 3

Bonjour mes amies! Aujourd'hui, le livre que j'avis choise est Une Annee dans Provence, ou A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle pour les gens qui parle seulement Anglais. J'adore cet livre parceque cet livre est tres amusent mais aussi parceque.....ok, my rudimentary French has failed me. (Scared some of you didn't I?) I adore a A Year in Provence because it is amusing, but also because of the rich language and Mayle's ease with which he creates such memorable characters. Interestingly enough it is his observations as a British ex-pat living in France that I enjoy the most, as opposed to his fiction.
The book is done in twelve chapters, one for each month of his first year in Provence. Peppered with French words and luscious descriptions of food, some of which you would never dare eat yourself even if you had the chance, this book is as relaxing to read as the Provencal lifestyle he describes. He shows off his neighbors and other locals in a humorous light, but never in a condescending manner. His disdain is reserved for his fellow countrymen who come to visit the region and have no respect for it or appreciation of the differences that they find. Basically you get the idea that he wants to scream "if you want everything just the way it was in England then bloody well stay there!" I can relate.
You need not be a Francophile to appreciate the book, although you may wind up as one after reading it. You also need never have visited France to enjoy the book either, but it will make you want to go. (But don't try and find Mayle's house that he describes in the book. He's since sold it and another unsuspecting couple wishes to live there undisturbed by bookworms.) If you have ever lived somewhere and felt out of place or taken aback by how different the place is compared to home you will get A Year in Provence, and if you haven't, you will love the book too.

Return to the Shelves 2

Okay, here it is! If you've read The Book Thief here's you chance to sound off.

sniff, sniff....dear god what is that smell?

I thought it would be fun to revisit a previous blog post and do the inverse. So this shall be a list of scents I don't enjoy. Now, I'm not talking about the obvious things like port-o-potties, or skunks or anything of that nature. No one likes the way those things smell, except, perhaps another skunk. These are things that aren't obviously offensive but that make me, if not gag, at least grimace.

1. Cigars. Most right thinking people also hate these, but considering that people still make and smoke them clearly not everyone does.
2. Celery. It is a vile food.
3. Onions. All I have to do is pass through a room where they are being chopped and I can taste them for ages afterwards. Bleck.
4. Low tide. Specifically in a bay. It smells of decay.
5. Polo by Ralph Lauren. My brother spilled almost an entire bottle of this in our basement when he was in high school. On the carpet. We all hate it, even him.
6. Tuna fish. Do I really need to elaborate?
7. Beer. Nothing more than apple juice gone wrong if you ask me. And on someone's breath? Ew.
8. The generic industrial hand soap that is found in the restrooms at the local Harris Teeter and my favorite barbecue restaurant in town. It looks like Dial, but it's not. You have to wash your hands with something else and sometimes add a scented lotion too to rid your hands of its vile stench. If everyone had the same reaction as I did they wouldn't have it anymore. Alas and alack.
9. Sauerkraut.
10. Bell peppers. They overwhelm everything else in a dish with their taste and scent.
11. Cedar wood. I know that cedar repels moths and other such things, but it makes me think of a rabbit hutch.

Feel free to share the scents you secretly loathe. I know you have them. Everyone does. Come, confide in me.

I swipped this idea

from another person's blog (thanks Chad!), so despite the lack of originality in the topic, the content will be highly original. So here they are, ten weird or secretive things about me.

1. When I'm bored (which is often) I decide what my friends would be if they were a dessert, a cereal, a color...well, you get the idea.

2. I hate celery with a passion and intensity normally reserved for those who have wronged me or the people I care about.

3. I was a cheerleader in high school, which isn't weird or very secretive, but since so many people say "you were a cheerleader?" upon hearing this I included it. Plus it goes with number four.

4. I can be painfully shy and/or awkward in certain social situations. Doesn't jive with having been a cheerleader now does it? But it's true.

5.I seem to have an inexplicable attraction to men with dimples in their chins. Ask me about it and I'll elaborate. It's rather frightening if you ask me.

6.I still read children's literature for fun. Don't laugh, it's really good.

7. Michael Jackson's Thriller video scared me so much as a kid that I would hid in the linen closet when it came on. And I did this because my sister ALWAYS wanted to watch it. Always!

8.I eat my cheeseburgers plain, just bread, meat and cheese.

9. I can't sleep if my feet are hot.

10. The only restaurant I wanted to eat at when I was really little was Denny's because you could get breakfast all the time. Now, the idea of eating there makes me queasy.

Be very, very quiet......

We are going on a book hunt! Well, not exactly a hunt, but a Shelfari! And what, pray tell, is a Shelfari? Shelfari is this wonderful new website that my friend Blake shared with me. (Thanks Blake!) Essentially, it is a social networking site, but this one revolves around books, so it is not nearly as creepy as some of the other ones out there. What you do is create a free account (the whole thing is free which means everyone can use all of the features) and then you create your shelf. You can put whatever books you want on your shelf, although since they also have a "reading list" feature it helps if the books on your shelf are ones you've read. You can write reviews for all of your books, give it a star ranking, create tags for them, see other people who have that book on their shelf, see if there are any discussions going on about the book etc. Or you can just put them on your shelf and leave others to speculate about what you thought of them. A lot of people do that. I personally find that annoying.

The social networking part comes in with the discussions. You can join groups that share your interests, and if you don't see one you like you can start one of your own. You can also make groups private which means the moderator controls who can join (if you want to be all elitist about it, or if your group becomes mega popular and you need crowd control). You can leave messages on people's pages, you can send requests for friend status (although as far as I can tell the only thing that friend status does is place them on your profile page). Speaking of your profile page you can make it as descriptive or non-descriptive as you like. There is only space for one picture by the way and most of the members I have come across don't use a real photograph, or at least not one of themselves. The site also will show you the people who have the most overlap with your bookshelf.

The site is still in beta mode, which means a lot of the functionality that you would hope for isn't there, yet. For instance, the search feature does keyword only which means when you search for Kurt Vonnegut you get all of his books, but also any other books with Kurt or Vonnegut on them. However, the company responds quickly to emails that you send and even have a feedback survey where you can submit ideas for improvement. You also do that via email if you want. Since it is still in beta testing it means they are looking for ideas on how to improve their product. So suggest away!

If you enjoy books I highly recommend this site. Not only does it give you an opportunity to shout to the world how much you loved or hated a book, but you can find great recommendations for new things to read. So put on your pith helmet, bookmark the page, and go on a Shelfari. But be warned! It's addictive. If you are interested my user name is Librarianwho.

From the Shelves 2

This post comes later than I had intended, primarily because I was trying to decide if I was going to comment on this book, as it violates the original idea of these book recommendations. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is not a happy book. It isn't completely depressing either, but if you read it and don't cry the police should come for you as you are clearly a sociopath with no feelings.

The story is set in Munich during World War II. Oh god! It's one of those books? Yes and no. Yes, because it is about the horrors of war. And no, because, you see, this book is narrated by Death. The title character is a young girl named Liesel who falls in love with books and decides, as her form of protest, to steal books (and a few other things) from the oppressors in her city. Liesel, it should be noted, is not Jewish. Max, who is hidden in her basement, is though, and this is as much his story as it is Liesel's. Ostensibly, this book is for middle school students, but at 550 pages, and with phrases like "he tasted like regret in the shadows of trees" and the liberal use of the word asshole, frequently as a term of affection, it is only pretending. Not that they wouldn't enjoy it, but there is so much in this book, it is unfair to stamp it with the stigma of being young adult literature. (And I think there is much more to young adult literature than most people are aware of and I still don't want it labeled as such.)

Despite the darkness there is humor to be found in this book, as well as much sadness. Death is a very busy man throughout this novel, coming to collect those you would least expect him to, and those you do not want him to. The ending is both sad and happy, much like life itself. I highly recommend this book, but have tissues at the ready. For you too, will be "haunted by humans" just as Death is after you read The Book Thief.